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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696388">Free Pizza For Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackstanifold/pseuds/jackstanifold'>jackstanifold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>my favorite works [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based on a song, Found Family, Homelessness, Pizza, Stealing, They are all dirty crime boys, Wisp is there for a bit, i did not take my adderall this morning, mmmmmMMMMMMM, sbi fans come get your juice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:54:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29696388</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jackstanifold/pseuds/jackstanifold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Phillip Soot had been too far behind on rent, and got kicked out of his apartment. His son, Wilbur, hadn’t moved out yet, despite being 23 years old. Achilles “Techno” Ferrum was a mentally ill 21 year old struggling for an English degree. Tommy Ennet was 16, and too angry for their foster parents, and Tubbo Maron was 17, and, even though their fosters had no problem with him, he still chose to follow the younger boy to the grave, if necessary.</p><p>Sleeping in a broken down van and eating stolen pizza wasn't what they had planned.</p><p>(inspired by free pizza for life by ghost mice)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Business Bay mentioned too ig, Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson, Tommyinnit &amp; Toby Smith | Tubbo, Wilbur Soot &amp; Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>my favorite works [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2299817</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Free Pizza For Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i listened to this song on loop last night while sleeping and woke up with this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They met by accident, in the best way possible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil Soot had been too far behind on rent, and got kicked out of his apartment. His son, Wilbur, hadn’t moved out yet, despite being 23 years old. They had their van, still, though, and drove around, looking for something. They weren’t sure what, but they were looking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They found it in Achilles “Techno” Ferrum, a 21 year old struggling for an English degree. He had a dorm, and a roommate, but for some reason, he was a little too eager to join them in their tiny little broken down Nissan. They didn’t ask, it was nice to have someone who would give them suggestions on where to eat in town, who would let Phil braid his hair, who would listen to Wilbur’s sad songs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They put down roots, but not for long, because one day, Techno came home with a black eye, and a split lip, and announced he was leaving. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So they left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three full grown men, in a van too big, and a world too small.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was getting near Christmas at that point, and Phil swore if he had to hear ‘Let it Snow’ one more time, he was going to rip out the radio with his bare hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove together for a long time, stopping for gas only when they really had to and they slept in the van and they bought a jar of peanut butter and bread and had sandwiches for every meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Phil had no job and Techno’s parents had cut him off, so Techno sent in stories and poems and essays to magazines, and sometimes, they published them. Wilbur would sit in the sunlight, out front of coffee shops and in parks and by stores, and he strummed his guitar, and he sang, and sometimes, people gave him money.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t paradise, but goddamn, it was freedom.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, they stopped in a 24/7 Walmart’s parking lot, and they found the boys. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too young to be on their own, too scared to go back home. Phil suggested they come with, and one scoffed, muttering something about kidnappers, and the other just nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy Enet was 16, and too angry for their foster parents, and Tubbo Maron was 17, and, even though their fosters had no problem with him, he still chose to follow the younger boy to the grave, if necessary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So when Tubbo climbed in the van, Tommy followed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They moved around the state, looking for any sort of home, any semblance of sanctuary, but they never found it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They learned about each other. Phil’s late wife, Wilbur’s mother, was the one who bought the van, to drive Wilbur and his friends around. Wilbur hadn’t spoken to said friends since high school, when they’d had a falling out, when his friend James left, and everyone either followed him or faded. Techno had psychosis, and his ex-roommate, Dream, had decided to pick on him, trying to drive him over the edge, tried to break him. It worked. Tommy had never known his parents, but he had been in the system since he was 3. Tubbo, on the other hand, had known his father, a man named Captain Maron, who died overseas when Tubbo was 7. The boys had met 7 months ago, but they were already close as brothers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day, Wilbur and Tommy came home with excited grins.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We have food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The local pizza place had a deal, where 10 coupons got a free 12 inch. Somehow, Wilbur and Tommy thought to check the trash cans around the place, and dug up coupon after coupon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took a bit more digging for two pizzas, but they made it, and they sat in the van that night, eating their pilfered pizzas and laughing over their sudden success.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Tubbo who suggested the dumpsters out back, and when they did…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One hundred forty coupons, not cut out, or marked, or anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, the workers never checked, never scanned the coupons in. They just counted, approved, and gave them the pizza. For a week straight, they alternated who ordered, so there was no way for them to be recognized, eating pizza nightly, and they lived like kings, or whatever the homeless, tired, lonely equivalent was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Techno found a photocopier in a local library, and they used that for another week, but they got busted, the manager recognizing Wilbur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He jumped in the van, slammed his hands on the ceiling and yelled at Phil to step on it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As they sped off into the night, Tommy rolled down the passenger window, stuck his head out and yelled, “Free pizza for life!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tried to go back to the way things had always been, but that February was a cold one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One night, it was fourteen degrees below zero, when there was a shout, and they jolted awake to a wide-eyed Tubbo. His foot was frozen to the window, and after scraping it off, and assuring him it was going to be okay, and as soon as Tommy had him cradled in his arms, and was running his hands through his hair, they all looked at each other, and silently agreed to do what they had to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stole checkbooks, and credit cards, and signed signatures that weren’t theirs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They had pizza every night, and bought new clothes, and slept in hotels, sometimes, when Phil’s joints got too bad. Tommy made friends with a bunch of local delinquents, forming a group that called themselves the Business Boys, and together, the four of them brought in even more money.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day in late spring, one of them, a tall, broad shouldered man named Wisp, got caught. In exchange for a break off his sentence, he turned in the other Business Boys.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy was barely 17 then, but he was sentenced to a year in jail along with the other three. As the cops led him off, he looked over his shoulder at Phil, making eye contact, and muttered, “Free pizza for life.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They bailed him out after 2 weeks, waiting in the van for him to come out. When he did, he was scared and pale, but his eyes lit up when he saw them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I thought you guys wouldn’t wait,” He said. “I thought you’d moved on.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t move on from family.” Techno had grunted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To celebrate getting him free, they got pizza that night, paying with forgery.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They got knocked down, time and time again, lost it all, got hurt. But they kept getting back up, kept going, kept trusting their luck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s weird, I don’t regret anything. Sorry they got you Toms, but…” Wilbur hummed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling one night, as they huddled around the portable heater Techno had stolen. “It all worked out okay in the end.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They may not have been wrong. They may not have been right. But as they drove off to a new town, a middle aged man, two college kids and two teenagers, a blonde head stuck itself through the window, and a shout echoed in the night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Free pizza for life, free pizza for life, free pizza for life!”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>everyday i wake up, spew bullshit and post it on archiveofourowndotorg. i'm incredibly tired &lt;3</p><p>follow me on tumblr @jackstanifold for more stale takes &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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